Jesus' Coming Back

Bird Flu: Myth Vs. Fact

An outbreak of avian flu is currently affecting birds both on farms and in the wild. The Onion debunks common myths surrounding the virus.

MYTH: Bird flu only affects birds.

FACT: Bird flu can affect anyone with a beak.

MYTH: Bird flu has killed over 100 million chickens.

FACT: The chickens were struck down by God for their wanton and lustful lifestyle.

MYTH: Contracting bird flu is always fatal for humans.

FACT: If that’s what it’s going to take to make you stop letting pigeons eat directly from your mouth, sure. 

MYTH: Factory farms cause bird flu to spread rapidly.

FACT: Chickens are encouraged to stay home from work if they’re sick.

MYTH: Infected birds are quarantined, humanely euthanized, and their carcasses safely disposed of.

FACT: The KFC Famous Bowl is now only $2.99 for a limited time!

MYTH: U.S. officials have linked the current bird flu outbreak to China.

FACT: U.S. officials have yet to decide which country to scapegoat. 

The Onion

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