ST. GEORGE, UT—With the water vapor causing condensation to form on the lenses and impair his vision, local man Patrick Whittle was reportedly forced Thursday by his fogged-up glasses to finish his soup using his other senses. “In my blinded state, I must rely on my other senses if I’m ever going to eat this soup,” said Whittle, explaining that the condensed moisture on his eyewear left him with no choice but to use his heightened sense of smell to guide himself toward the bowl of lobster bisque. “This certainly feels like soup considering how hot it is. And the taste? Checks out. If only I could get a visual confirmation on my soup, but alas, this cursed fog won’t allow it.” At press time, reports confirmed Whittle was left with even fewer senses at his soup-eating disposal after burning his tongue.
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