FLORHAM PARK, NJ — A changing of the guard was on the horizon in the NFL, as the New York Jets announced that the team had officially decided to keep losing all their games but without quarterback Aaron Rodgers.
The Jets struggled to win games on their way to a 5-12 record in 2024, leading the team to the conclusion that it was time to move on from Rodgers and continue losing games in 2025 with a different quarterback.
“It’s time for us to find another quarterback to lead us to defeat,” said newly hired Head Coach Aaron Glenn. “We appreciate Aaron Rodgers and the work he put in to help this team come up short, but the NFL is all about constantly evolving and finding new players to help the team achieve its goals. We wish him the best. Plus, my name is Aaron. I can’t have a quarterback named Aaron. That’s weird.”
Jets executives assured fans that the organization was already hard at work searching for its next quarterback to lose games. “Jet Nation can be confident that they’ll see the same results on the field no matter who is under center,” said new General Manager Darren Mougey. “We may be moving on from Aaron Rodgers, but we will look at all options available through free agency and the draft to find a new quarterback who will continue our long tradition of losing games.”
At publishing time, the Las Vegas Raiders were said to already be gauging Rodgers’s interest in joining their roster due to his recent experience in leading teams to disappointing seasons.
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