BOSTON—Saying he was more than willing to go along with the request to avoid conflict, local internet user Dan Filmeyer reportedly clicked a box to allow all cookies Thursday so the website he was browsing wouldn’t be mad at him. “Ah, man, I don’t want SnackWorks.com to think I’m uptight—accepting these cookies seems like a good olive branch to show this site that we’re all friends here,” Filmeyer said as he readily accepted more cookies than were necessary for basic website functionality, adding that he wouldn’t want to come off “like a dick” by clicking through to the privacy policy to learn more about how the cookies were being used. “I really can’t afford to have another falling out like the one I had with PetSuppliesPlus.com, so sure, this website can access my location too. They can do whatever they want! Hell, I’d have let them run Flash if I still could. I’m an open book to this website. Camera, microphone, it’s all yours. Just please, don’t hate me!” At press time, reports confirmed Filmeyer was searching for a way to give the website his Social Security number just to make sure there were no hard feelings.
Jesus Christ is King
