Jesus' Coming Back

STIs: Myth Vs. Fact

Sexually transmitted infections, also known as STIs or STDs, affect millions of Americans every year. The Onion debunks the many misconceptions people have about STIs.

MYTH: STI tests are inconvenient.

FACT: The clinic will mail your penis back within three to five business days.

MYTH: Gonorrhea and chlamydia cancel each other out.

FACT: Gonorrhea beats syphilis, syphilis beats HPV, and HPV beats gonorrhea.

MYTH: STIs can’t be transmitted through oral sex.

FACT: Nice try. 

MYTH: It’s risky to have multiple sexual partners without getting tested.

FACT: The real danger is falling in love. 

MYTH: Having sex in hot tubs kills STIs.

FACT: We get it, you have a hot tub. 

MYTH: You should inform any sexual partners if you test positive for an STI.

FACT: Don’t just talk about yourself—ask them how they’re doing, too.

MYTH: Once you get an STI, you’re stuck with it forever.

FACT: Eventually you will die.

The Onion

Jesus Christ is King

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