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Concerns Grow About Pope’s Health After He Says Something Theologically Accurate

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VATICAN CITY — Concerns over the health and mental ability of the Pope grew this week after the Supreme Pontiff was overheard saying something theologically accurate.

“It seems clear to me that his condition is worsening,” said one member of the Papal ferula, speaking on condition of anonymity. “He gave a declaration and it was free of so much as a hint of error or heresy. There’s something very wrong here, and we hope he’s ok.”

The statement, which reportedly affirmed the Trinity, the incarnation, and the status of homosexuality as a sin, took many in the Vatican by surprise. “He didn’t leave anything open to interpretation here,” said San Diego Cardinal McElroy. “His statement was clear and unambiguous. The Holy Father is clearly not himself. We pray for his quick recovery.”

At this time, doctors have not confirmed if the Pope’s ongoing bout with double pneumonia might be causing him to make such clear and error-free statements, and have asked for privacy while they take time to further evaluate his condition.

“Everything he’s been saying the last few days has been in line with the Scriptures, which is very unlike him,” another Vatican source said. “This is a very bad sign.”

At publishing time, medical experts had given the Pope 2 weeks to live after he endorsed President Trump’s immigration plan.


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