Trump Envisions Modern Version Of Postal Service Where People Can Send Mail Electronically
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As rumors swirled that the administration may take over the operation of the post office, President Donald Trump proposed a radical new, modernized version of the U.S. Postal Service where people could send mail electronically.
While the bold idea could revolutionize the sending and receiving of correspondence, critics and longtime supporters of the postal service called it outlandish and far-fetched, assuring the public that mailing letters was indispensable. Trump disagreed.
“We’ll have a whole new system, folks. Electronic mail, we’ll call it,” Trump told reporters at the White House. “I’ve been talking to my friend, Elon Musk. You know Elon? Great guy. Very sharp guy. He told me we can do away with the post office altogether and start sending letters over the internet. It only takes seconds, and there’s no paper. Do you believe that? Sending letters without paper. It’s amazing the stuff they’re doing these days. We’ll get in there and fix it and make it better and faster than it’s ever been before. Electronic mail. E-mail. Something like that. I don’t know, we’ll play around with the name.”
A spokesman for the U.S. Postal Service cautioned the adoption of such a futuristic plan. “It’s way too early to be talking about ‘electronic mail,'” said Postal Supervisor Danny Ball. “Sending someone a letter invisibly through the ‘world wide web?’ Communicating with someone on another continent in seconds?” That’s science fiction stuff. Your paper, your envelope, and your stamps. That’s where it’s at. Please don’t abolish us.”
At publishing time, the American Postal Workers Union warned that its mailmen would refuse to make everyone’s daily deliveries of useless coupons and advertisements if Trump tried to follow throw with his plan.
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