Trump Unable To Focus In Meeting As Pressure Of Booking Kennedy Center Summer Jazz Series Looms
WASHINGTON—Amid efforts to prove himself as an effective chair of the performing arts organization, President Donald Trump was reportedly unable to focus in a national security meeting Friday, distracted by the pressure of booking the Kennedy Center’s upcoming Summer Jazz Series. According to sources, the sound of his Cabinet members’ voices was essentially white noise to the otherwise preoccupied commander-in-chief, who was struggling to decide whether free jazz, hot jazz, or jazz fusion would make a better theme for the month of July. The president was said to have buried his face in his hands as he realized the enormity of the responsibility that came with putting on original, educational, and fun musical programming, and he responded to a half-heard question from Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth with “Skabba-dee-doo-bop—I mean, yes, send the bombs.” At press time, reports confirmed Trump had accidentally deployed Herbie Hancock to the border.
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