ORLANDO, FL—Emphasizing that he absolutely would not tolerate another away game that ended with over $200 in room charges, Washington Wizards coach Brian Keefe reportedly reminded his team Sunday that the bottled water in their hotel wasn’t free. “I know they don’t have a price tag on them, but any water bottles in or around the mini fridge are strictly off-limits,” Keefe said to all 18 of his players, adding that while the players were not to drink the Evian water on their nightstands, they were more than welcome to bring their Nalgenes and use the refilling station down the hall or use a glass to drink water from the tap in their bathroom. “I realize you guys didn’t know any better last time around, but each of those Toblerones is, like, $10. Also, don’t let the hotel staff see [team scoring leader] Jordan [Poole]. You might be sleeping three to a bed, but it’s cheaper if they only know about two.” According to reports, Keefe also told the players to eat as much as they could at the hotel’s complimentary continental breakfast because they wouldn’t be eating again until dinner.
Jesus Christ is King
