Aliveness Of Baby Quintuple-Checked Before Texting New Parents Congratulations
GREEN BAY, WI—In a comprehensive and thorough effort to ensure that nothing bad had happened, the aliveness of infant Liam Graham was reportedly quintuple-checked Tuesday before texting the new parents congratulations. “I was about to pop off a quick text telling Amelia and Mike how happy I was for them, but then this wave of panic washed over me,” said acquaintance Marcus Hill, echoing the sentiment of friends and family who were hesitant to offer well wishes on the off chance tragedy had struck in the interim between Amelia Graham’s labor and the present. “I don’t want to be the person who sends a dozen baby emojis to a couple on the worst day of their lives. First I checked Instagram, but they hadn’t posted any new pictures. Then I texted ‘any update on mommy and baby?’ to our mutual friend, but she just replied with a heart. That worried me, but finally I got an email inviting me to be part of a meal train for Amelia, Mike, and Liam, which gave me the confidence to send them a congratulatory message.” At press time, Hill was said to be googling how to unsend a text after seven hours with no response.
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