OAKVILLE – Kevin Walker’ seemingly thoughtful gesture for his girlfriend’s birthday on Sunday was obliterated when she noticed her gift was purchased from the discount chain, Dollarama.
The gift in question – a bath bomb set called “The Lavender Luxury Collection” – was initially well received, until his girlfriend, Julie Emerson, saw the $3 green and yellow price tag on the back of the box. Emerson reportedly started crying and saying that her 30th birthday was ruined.
“I can see why she was a bit upset, but it’s not like it cost a single dollar,” says Walker, who we should mention is a successful lawyer with family money. “It cost multiple dollars, plus some tax.”
However upon seeing Emerson’s reaction, Walker quietly stashed aside the Dollarama lingerie set and plastic silver bracelets that he had also purchased for her.
The birthday evening then spiraled into a series of debates concerning the quality of Dollarama products, their no returns policy, and what else in their home is secretly from the bargain chain.
“Listen, I’m not trying to sound elitist,” says Emerson. “But if it’s from Dollarama, something’s gotta be wrong with it, right? Like is this why our batteries keep leaking?”
“Honestly, it could be because they’re Dollarama batteries or it could be because I’m putting them in small electronics that were also purchased from Dollarama,” confesses Walker.
While Walker admits that the store’s electronics are questionable, his general stance is that the chain does sell “good stuff.”
“Not only do they sell brand names, but I saw the same bath bomb set at Loblaws for $35!” explains Walker. “You’d think Julie would be happy I got a good deal on it, not to mention the effort I went through to buy it for her,” says Walker, who later elaborated that by “effort”’ he meant going with Dollarama’s self-checkout rather than cashier checkout.
Walker ultimately blames Dollarama for the fiasco, insisting that they should not sell items with hard-coded price tags that cannot be removed.
“Those printed-on price tags are set up to make you fail. How am I supposed to get around that? Like what am I supposed to do, not buy birthday and anniversary gifts from Dollarama?” says Walker while Emerson weeps in the background.
Emerson’s birthday was somewhat saved when Walker presented her with her favourite chocolate bars, which she has always assumed are from “England or something.”
The Snickers and Mars bar knock offs, Titan and Meteor, are exclusively sold at Dollarama.
Jesus Christ is King
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