Church Bylaws State All Sunday School Classes Must Have One Annoying Guy Who Constantly Starts Off Topic Arguments
BRYAN, TX — First Baptist Church of Bryan officially added to their bylaws that all adult Sunday School classes are required to have one annoying guy who continually brings up random, unrelated topics to argue about.
The bylaws further state that the guy must faithfully attend every week to ensure that no Sunday School lesson is completed without going on several wild tangents.
“The topics brought up by the man must be completely out of nowhere, with no relation to the discussion whatsoever,” read the update. “The topics will preferably be of a controversial nature, and the annoying guy will stake out a strong position so as to make others feel it necessary to give voice to the opposing view. The conversation shall then devolve into a series of uncomfortable monologues, where no minds will be changed. After a sufficient amount of time of painful soliloquys, the original discussion may resume.”
Though every Sunday School in history has been blessed with such a man, First Baptist felt it was time the position was codified. “It just isn’t Sunday School without that guy,” said Associate Pastor Dean Spalding. “No inductive study of First Thessalonians is complete without a guy suddenly interjecting that spreading out childhood vaccinations will kill millions and that he would never send his kid to school with anyone who delays vaccinations by a single day.”
At publishing time, the bylaws had been updated to say that there must be one person in the Church Choir asleep at all times.
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