WASHINGTON—Groaning with exhaustion and joint pain after their late bedtime last night, members of Congress were reportedly all groggy Wednesday after staying up past 8:30 p.m. for President Donald Trump’s address. “Oh God, I can’t believe I slept through daybreak,” said 85-year-old Rep. Steny Hoyer (D-MD), one of hundreds of dazed senators and representatives who reportedly stumbled out of bed, rubbed their eyes, and barely touched their Metamucil supplements, shaking their heads in disbelief that they had made it through the late night at the Capitol. “Definitely going to be hell to pay when I tell my doctor about this. I’m just going to down the pills I was supposed to take hours ago and hope all goes well. Thankfully, I can get a nap in once I get to the office, and then a few more hours of sleep in the afternoon. That should set me right.” At press time, reports confirmed the groggy members of Congress had quietly passed away.
Jesus Christ is King
