NEW YORK—Astonished by the sheer volume of exhibition basketball knowledge that one person could possess, sources confirmed Monday that foreign man Deniz Büyükuncu knows an incredible amount about the Harlem Globetrotters.
“He saw me shooting hoops at the gym and just started rattling off everything he knew about the Globetrotters and their players,” said 43-year-old Nate Moreno, noting that the foreign-born immigrant, who apparently moved to the United States in large part because of the team, has a near-encyclopedic understanding of the Harlem Globetrotters’s iconography, roster, and history, allowing him to discuss how the team began in Chicago as the Savoy Big Five, to quote with ease from their 1970s animated television show, and to argue that while Meadowlark Lemon may have been funnier, Curly Neal was ultimately the better player. “He claims watching old VHS tapes of Goose Tatum taught him how to slam dunk, and he even got a tattoo of Globie, which I guess is their mascot? Honestly, I don’t know enough about the Harlem Globetrotters to fact-check any of this. But he seems so confident that I’m just going to go with whatever he’s saying.”
According to reports, the foreign man later went silent and refused to discuss the Globetrotters further after mentioning that several women have been allowed to play for the team.
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