This International Women’s Day, The Babylon Bee Honors Eve’s Historic Choice To Plunge The World Into Sin
Happy International Women’s Day! Women have done many great things throughout the course of history. That’s why a day has been set aside to honor the accomplishments of distinguished women like Catherine the Great, Empress of Russia, Marie Curie (she discovered radium!), and Eve, who made a historic choice to plunge the entire human race into sin by eating the forbidden fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.
Though there are many women deserving of recognition today for their historical deeds, the very first woman stands out for her world-changing choice that has shaped history ever since: Eve, mother of all living, who gave the fruit to her husband and thereby helped subject the entire world to death, pain, and sorrow.
It would be a travesty to forget Eve and her contribution to society, family, and the world at large — a travesty almost as great as the one that Eve committed by yielding to the serpent’s temptation and eating the fruit God commanded her not to touch.
So this International Women’s Day, The Babylon Bee has decided to preserve the memory of Eve, which is directly opposite from how Eve decided not to preserve her original innocence and righteousness.
So go ahead — celebrate the accomplishments of women like Mother Teresa, Margaret Thatcher, and Suzanne Knutdson of Kenosha, Wisconsin, who was the first (and only) woman in recorded history to spend less than an hour deciding where she wanted to get dinner with her husband.
Just don’t forget Eve and her monumental contribution to plunging mankind into death and despair. Thanks, Eve!
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