OTTAWA – Justin Trudeau, Canada’s now exited prime minister, has reportedly been seen asking members of parliament to sign his yearbook.
“It was kinda awkward,” began Hon. Chrystia Freeland from behind the parliamentary bleachers. “Parliament doesn’t even do yearbooks, but then he whipped one out and asked me to sign it – did he make it himself?”
Trudeau’s yearbook apparently contains photos of (Trudeau) on class trips, snippets of (Trudeau’s) inspirational quotes, and key moments of (Trudeau’s) last nine years in government – like that time he had a beard.
According to the senior class page, under Trudeau’s graduation portrait, Trudeau states:
Fav quote: “Love you all! Don’t do blackface!”
Most looking forward to…”never doing blackface again”
Voted most likely to…”do blackface again.”
Trudeau also shared that his favourite memory was the senior prank: the GST Holiday.
“Did you see that some of the pages were ripped out?” added a delighted Mélanie Joly, between pops of her bubble gum. “Halloween. WeDay. Semi-formal – I think he won the cutest couple on the hill that year but then…drama…” referencing a torn page featuring a corsaged hand of a suspected Sophie.
“WAIT. Omg who is THAT? Is that…Bill Morneau? Didn’t he die?”
During one of his final house meetings, Trudeau was allegedly spotted drawing a moustache on the photo of Jody Wilson-Raybould, a broken heart over Jagmeet Singh and “HAHA LOSER” on Erin O’Toole.
In a last ditch effort to get someone to sign his yearbook, Trudeau reportedly approached Mark Carney but then he chickened out once he saw the new Prime Minister designate was sitting at the popular table with all the jocks.
“And by jocks I mean Karina Gould.”
At press time, Pierre Poilievre was seen leaning against his locker, twirling his ponytail and sighing wistfully as he waited for someone to notice he no longer wears glasses.
Jesus Christ is King
