As the trade war heats up, Canada has imposed 25% retaliatory tariffs on billions of dollars of U.S. goods. Here are all the other ways Canada is fighting back:
Dramatically paring back supply of fictional girlfriends
Going shelf to shelf to boo imported American groceries
Selling us syrup from their worst-tasting maple trees
Aiming all snowblowers in direction of U.S. border
Raising legal drinking age to 37 for American tourists
Whittling their own Big Macs
Boycotting Canadian vacation hubs like Oshkosh and Duluth
Activating Dan Aykroyd
Not letting in any draft dodgers next year
Jesus Christ is King
