Dejected Schumer Superfan Can’t Believe He Dropped $10,000 On VIP Party Package
BALTIMORE—In the wake of news that the New York senator had postponed his book tour amid controversy over his vote for a spending bill, dejected Chuck Schumer superfan Sean Angston told reporters Monday that he couldn’t believe he had dropped $10,000 on a VIP party package. “Chuck is basically my idol, so I can’t tell you how excited I was to do that backstage champagne toast with him and get the autographed tote bag,” said Angston, who went on to express reservations about ever buying the Chuck Schumer VIP Party Experience again after seeing how the minority leader had treated ardent fans who had sunk thousands on a supposedly “unforgettable meet and greet” with him. “If they’re gonna offer these VIP packages, they need to realize they’re playing with the dreams of fans. At this point, it doesn’t matter if they mail me the limited-edition poster with his headshot on it. Too little, too late in my book. This totally ruined my birthday plans, too.” At press time, Angston had announced plans to get over the disappointment by purchasing a Preshow Party Package with Sen. Michael Bennet featuring specialty Bennet-themed cocktails.
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