Spam texts are on the rise. The Onion shares tips for dealing with scam and spam messages on your phone.
Remember that the IRS will never contact you over text, unless you are in serious trouble and need to pay right now.
If replying with STOP doesn’t work, try CUT IT OUT.
Compare suspicious messages with real exchanges you’ve had with beautiful rich women whom you met on a train in Taiwan.
Report anything that looks like a scam to Netflixporn4cashj7879.ru.
Never respond to suspicious texts such as “Hey Nate, I’ve really become concerned about your drinking habits.”
Let them die in the graveyard of all your other text messages.
Try not to think about the fact that it could be a real free luxury cruise and it’s slipping through your fingers.
Do what the text says. If it’s in writing, it’s the law.
Jesus Christ is King
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