Poilievre insists not being aware of India helping his campaign just practice for not being aware of America helping his campaign
OTTAWA – Amid revelations that India aided the leadership campaign of Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre, the opposition leader insists that having absolutely no idea about this will be great training for when he claims to have no idea about the Trump administration helping his Federal Election campaign.
With CSIS alleging that Poilievre’s 2022 leadership bid was boosted by agents of the Indian government, the party leader asks voters to keep this in mind during his current bid to become Prime Minister.
“There was nothing sinister about me turning a blind eye to Indian fundraising for my leadership campaign,” Poilievre insisted, “just like there’ll be nothing sinister when I ignore Trump’s dark money and Elon’s twitter bots boosting my support.”
“Nothing sinister at all, hence my new slogan: OBLIVIOUS, NOT INSIDIOUS,” Poilievre roared, in front of a cheering crowd with suspiciously American accents.
With Poilievre’s once-commanding lead dwindling since the replacement of Justin Trudeau with Liberal leader Mark Carney, Poilievre insists that he will work even harder to ignore foreign meddling intended to benefit his electoral chances.
“I don’t care if the American conglomerate that owns Postmedia floods their editorial pages with fawning endorsements of me, or if Mr. Trump himself tries to reverse psychology Canadian voters into thinking he wants Mark Carney to win,” Poilievre thundered. “I will bravely look away and say ‘I DIDN’T SEE ANYTHING! HUH! WEIRD!’”
With that, Poilievre vowed to fight even harder against getting his security clearance, in order to ignore extra-Canadian interference even harder.
At press time, the Conservative Party of Canada also noted that they are open to ignoring any foreign meddling on their behalf by Russia.
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