Watching your retirement account tumble as $10 trillion in market value evaporates can be a stressful experience. Here are seven facts to make you feel at ease as you watch the stock market plunge:
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You now have less money to worry about losing: Less money, less problems.
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Jim Cramer just said it can’t get any worse: Phew!
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You are learning to be content in all circumstances, just like the Apostle Paul: Good for you.
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The baseball cards your wife tried to throw out are now your most valuable investment: Boy, does she feel silly.
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There are lots of politicians angrily screaming about it on TV: History has taught us this is usually a good sign.
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If you hold the chart upside-down, the numbers don’t look so bad: It’s all about perspective.
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If the tariffs work, soon Chinese finger traps will be American finger traps: It’s a small price to pay.
Breathe easy, folks. It’s going to be okay.
Travis continues his quest to interview everyone with beef’s worst nightmare: Mikhaila Peterson
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