OTTAWA – After being found guilty of criminal mischief, “Freedom Convoy” organizers Chris Barber and Tamara Lich insist they are not worried about what kind of sentence they’ll face as they’re sure U.S. President Donald Trump will pardon them any day now.
“The totally woke and Liberal judge didn’t even consider the fact that honking horns for weeks on end is protected under our first amendment rights,” Barber noted, holding a copy of the U.S. constitution. “But as soon as Trump gets word about our unfair treatment, he’ll grab a Sharpie and make magic happen… any moment now.”
Lich added that Trump is the only one who’s brave enough to do the right thing and give them a pardon. “We tried asking the governor, but we don’t even know who the governor of Ottawa is, so that leaves us no choice but to take it up with the big man himself.”
Barber and Lich’s legal team echoed their client’s claims and believed they have a good chance of being pardoned, seeing that they are very similar to all the January 6ers Trump pardoned days into his second term.
“When my clients urged all those truckers to come down to Ottawa, block the entire downtown core and honk a few horns, they did this because they love Canada, and we think that should be rewarded by the President of the United States.”
When it was pointed out to Barber and Lich that, in the words of one legal expert “Trump can’t grant pardons to Canadians who commit crimes on Canadian soil you dummies” the pair quickly advised that they definitely already knew that.
“We just meant he’ll do it once we’re the 51st state.” said Barber. “By the way have we mentioned how much we love Canada?”
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