President Trump completed his annual physical at Walter Reed yesterday, earning a clean bill of health — but with a few surprises along the way. Here are the seven most shocking findings from Trump’s exam:
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Blood type came back USA-positive: The world has never seen anything like it.
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Became only person in history to correctly identify all the ink blots in the Rorschach test: Incredible.
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Trump’s skin actually has an odd orange hue: No one has noticed this before, but the doctors are looking into it.
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His regenerated ear has developed super-hearing, like Daredevil: We feel a Netflix series incoming.
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Unnecessary appendix has already been removed by DOGE: Those guys are good.
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Even his small intestine is YUGE: The jury is still out whether that’s good or bad.
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He is severely allergic to losing: The only prescription: more winning.
Well done, Mr. President!
Babylon Bee subscriber Mark Zimmerman contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!
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