OTTAWA – After rescheduling tonight’s French language leaders debate to accommodate a Montreal Canadiens playoff game, Elections Canada has announced that the entire federal election will be postponed, at least until every Canadian team is mathematically eliminated.
With this year’s NHL Playoffs set to include the Toronto Maple Leafs, Ottawa Senators, Edmonton Oilers, Winnipeg Jets, and potentially the Montreal Canadiens, officials have determined it to be in the national interest to pause the entire election while Canadians wait for their home teams to inevitably choke and disappoint them.
“It’s just easier this way,” explained Stéphane Perrault, Chief Electoral Officer of Canada. “We realized that nobody was going to be paying attention to anything for the next two weeks, let alone Canadian federal politics.”
“Fortunately, if I know the Leafs, we should have this election back on track by late April. Early May, tops,” Perrault added.
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m busy trying to get some Sens tickets on Stubhub.”
Sources report that the federal leaders had already gathered in Montreal ahead of the debate, but were seen shouting “HOCKEY!” before picking up their podiums and carrying them over to the side of the stage, to wait until Canada’s playoff hopes eventually pass by.
At press time, experts have also determined that having recently experienced crushing disappointment during the NHL playoffs will mentally prepare Canadians to face their electoral choices.
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