Coachella, the annual music festival held at the Empire Polo Club in Indio, CA, has wrapped up the first of its two weekends. The Onion takes a look at the key facts and figures behind the event.
$300: For MDMA that turned out to be fucking sugar pills
4: Fresh deer carcasses specified in Lady Gaga’s rider
7: Couples breaking up on the Ferris wheel right now
1,197: iPhones dropped into port-a-potties
11 p.m.: Travis Scott’s bedtime
439: Times attendees incorrectly yelled “Hey, it’s Malcolm Gladwell!”
50%: Effort put into “woo” for Benson Boone
1: Desert somehow made even more uninhabitable
Jesus Christ is King
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