U.S. — Democrats have updated the famous “New Colossus” poem on the Statue of Liberty to simply read, “Give us your wife beaters.”
The change is intended to clarify that in lieu of huddled masses yearning to be free, Democrats prefer to import criminals who beat their wives and threaten to murder them.
“These are our people,” said Senator Van Hollen as the finishing touches were put on the plaque. “If you’re out there in some other country, smacking your wife around, the Democratic party wants you in America. We will literally travel across the globe to bring you back here so you can hit your wife on American soil. We want restraining orders, not green cards.”
Some rank-and-file Democrats have reportedly expressed concern that cheering for spousal abusers may not be a winning message. “I’m just not sure wife beating is a winner, politically speaking,” said a Democratic House member on condition of anonymity. “Threatening to kill women hasn’t polled well, at least historically speaking. But, I’ve got to trust the leadership on this one.”
At publishing time, the Democratic party had added “human traffickers” to the plaque after yet another report that Kilmar Garcia had been involved in buying and selling human beings.
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