Letitia James Hides From Trump DOJ By Painting Herself Bronze And Standing Very, Very Still In Times Square
NEW YORK, NY — In a desperate move to evade Trump’s Department of Justice, New York Attorney General Letitia James painted herself bronze and is standing very, very still in Times Square.
Thus far the gambit appears to have paid off, with people believing James to be a statue of an obese, unkempt woman who “challenges perceived notions of representation.”
“Just be still, Letitia. They’ll never suspect it,” said James, hands on her hips. “Look at the dolts taking pictures of me as I hide in plain sight. Oh, you are a clever shrew, Letitia.”
While initially successful, the plan hit a snag as James has been forced to stand totally still while listening to liberals disparage her over and over. “Normally artists try to portray black women as strong and beautiful, but this artist bravely made an awful statue of an unkempt chunky lady,” said local woman Anya Miran, staring Ms. James in the face. “It’s totally challenging the ideal of how artists should represent black women. I love how powerfully this statue says that it is okay for this woman to be fat and unattractive. I can’t stop staring at the fat rolls. I just want to squish them.”
At publishing time, witnesses had reported that the statue appeared to have briefly swatted a woman’s hand away from her love handles.
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