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Trump Secures 18 Months Of Free Geek Squad As Part Of India-Pakistan Truce

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump has successfully secured 18 months of free Geek Squad service as a condition of negotiating the end of hostilities between India and Pakistan.

The Geek Squad coverage will reportedly apply to all devices in the White House, with a special team assigned specifically to President Trump.

“It’s an incredible deal,” said President Trump, making the announcement. “Not only did I stop a war between nuclear powers, I got eighteen months of free Geek Squad. Their tech support is pretty good, that’s what people say, and they only wanted to give me twelve months. But I said no, without me you are all dead in a nuclear holocaust, I want eighteen months. And they caved. I knew they would.”

According to sources, Indian and Pakistani tried to explain that their governments don’t actually run Best Buy’s Geek Squad, but Trump was having none of it. “We really had no choice,” said Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi. “We have called Best Buy and spoken to Rajesh. The Geek Squad is ready to go.”

At publishing time, Trump had announced that he also had secured one free lesson in Bollywood dancing.


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