Trump Accepts Generous Gift Of Imperial-Class Star Destroyer From Emperor Palpatine
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The White House held a star-studded ceremony today to commemorate a historic occasion, as President Donald Trump accepted a generous gift of an Imperial-Class Star Destroyer from Emperor Palpatine.
Despite reservations voiced by some members of his administration, the president was eager to accept the gift, citing how much the U.S.’s relationship with the Galactic Empire has improved since he took office in January.
“It’s a big, beautiful ship. Tremendous guy, that Palpatine, very smart,” Trump told reporters as the imposing Star Destroyer came in for its landing. “You never saw the Emperor giving one of these beauties to Joe Biden, did you? We’re making tremendous progress with the Empire, we really are. This ship will be the biggest any president has ever had, by a lot. I hear it’s got a great set of ventral cannons, and if China doesn’t want to play ball, they’ll find out all about it.”
In a holographic message from Coruscant, Emperor Palpatine told Trump he was more than welcome. “A small token of our admiration,” the supreme galactic ruler said. “There are many who oppose us. Only together can we bring peace, prosperity, and security to this insignificant little system. I have foreseen that President Trump will have a memorable second term in which he will crush any rebellions that may arise.”
At publishing time, relations between the Trump administration and the Galactic Empire had reportedly soured after the president announced the implementation of 140% tariffs on all spice imports from Kessel.
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