Trump Asks When He’ll Get To See The Elves And Hobbits On His Middle East Tour
DUBAI — Nearing the end of his highly publicized Middle East tour, administration sources reported that President Donald Trump had asked dignitaries when he would get to see the elves and hobbits.
According to several members of the president’s entourage, Trump had grown increasingly impatient about meeting elves, hobbits, dwarves, and other creatures over the last several days.
“I know there must be elves and hobbits here somewhere,” Trump reportedly asked a concierge from the United Arab Emirates, gesturing at the broad expanse of sand and luxury highrises. “Where do they keep them? Everyone told me, ‘Don, you have to see the elves while you’re there.’ I haven’t met any yet. And the hobbits. I’ve heard they’re not very big, but they like to have a good time. And the Rohirrim. ‘The mighty Rohirrim’ they call them. I would love to see them. This is where they live, right? Middle East?”
Dubai ruler Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum was reportedly confused by the constant requests but chalked them up to translation challenges. “I don’t think we even have any elves. And what is a hobbit?” bin Rashid Al Maktoum was overheard asking as Trump hunted around in the bushes near the palace entrance. “I hope he is not too disappointed.”
Following the announcement of a major deal between the U.S. and UAE, Trump reportedly asked if he would be able to see the Lonely Mountain from his window aboard Air Force One on his way home.
At publishing time, Trump told aides that he had given up on meeting any hobbits and asked if he could just see an oliphant instead.
Meet Chuck, a Nazi with an identity crisis.
Jesus Christ is King
