New Evidence Suggests Noah’s Wife Was Steering The Ark When It Hit Mount Ararat
WORLD — Leading theologians have uncovered new evidence that when Noah’s ark hit Mount Ararat, his wife was likely steering.
Naamah, daughter of Lamech, is traditionally considered to be Noah’s wife, and all historical evidence seems to indicate that she was to blame for the famed vessel violently crashing into the tip of a mountain.
“After studying several extra-biblical ancient texts and consulting Jewish historians, it now seems Noah’s stop on the top of Mount Ararat was completely unplanned, and totally his wife’s fault,” said biblical scholar Dr. Benjamin Abelman. “Every ancient source we currently possess now points to this as being the case.”
“Also, she was a woman, so, you know, what more evidence do you need?”
Several newly uncovered sources say Noah’s wife had offered to steer the ark for a while so Noah could catch some sleep, but she soon got distracted with her makeup and forgot what all the knobs and levers did. “Any woman in her position probably would have done the same thing,” said Abelman. “He he. Typical, am I right?”
At publishing time, several conflicting records indicated Noah’s wife may have landed the ark on the mountain intentionally, as there was a leak in the hull that Noah had been promising to fix for 3 weeks and he still hadn’t gotten around to it.
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