WASHINGTON—After a stunning admission that he’d been diagnosed with a highly aggressive form of the disease, former President Joe Biden reportedly faced mounting pressure on Monday to let a younger Democrat battle cancer. “Given the current landscape, we think a more youthful, energetic leader would be much better suited to fighting this deadly kind of metastatic prostate cancer,” said Democratic strategist James Carville, adding that while there likely wasn’t much time to pivot this late in the disease’s cycle, there were still several prominent politicians ready to step up and win. “Right now I think that Gavin Newsom, Josh Shapiro, and Pete Buttigieg are more than ready to take on a cancer with a Gleason score of 9. There’s even buzz about Gretchen Whitmer throwing her hat in the ring. Frankly, it’d send a very powerful message to Republicans if a female governor from a battleground state like Michigan overcame this terrible illness.” At press time, many Democrats had reportedly placed their support in the tumor, with internal projections showing that it was polling 10 points ahead of a generic Democratic candidate.
Jesus Christ is King
