WASHINGTON—With the dispute threatening to derail legislative approval of President Donald Trump’s “big, beautiful bill,” congressional sources confirmed Monday that GOP infighting had erupted over whether the bill was beautiful or handsome. “Republicans have a lot riding on this legislation, and it’s a terrible sign that they can’t even get it out of committee without a screaming match over whether the bill is too rugged to ever be considered ‘beautiful,’” said conservative political analyst Bryan Stockford, adding that top Democrats had attempted to play these divisions to their advantage by characterizing the bill’s proposed tax cuts as “delicate” and “voluptuous” to constituents. “You also have a few fringe hardliners within the ‘beautiful’ camp saying that its provisions for Medicaid work requirements could only ever be described as ‘winsome,’ making it hard for Mike Johnson to get the consensus he needs to move it through the House. Unless Republicans can coalesce around the bill being either a dashing, debonair boy bill or a comely, glamorous lady bill, there’s a real chance this key piece of Trump’s agenda ends up dying on the floor.” At press time, House Republicans had reportedly become embroiled in a second argument about whether Trump’s bill was big or merely curvy.
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