Congress Split Between Those Who Want To Spend A Ridiculous Amount And Those Who Want To Spend An Even More Ridiculous Amount
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As debate continued over President Donald Trump’s “big, beautiful bill,” the United States Congress was said to be split between those who want to spend a ridiculous amount of money and those who want to spend an even more ridiculous amount of money.
“My colleagues are out of line!” Republican Senator Kevin Cramer said during open debate on the Senate floor. “They want to spend a whole, whole lot of money. I want to spend slightly less because I’m responsible!”
The ongoing struggle in Congress only served to highlight a near-even split along ideological guidelines between those who want to spend a whole lot and those who want to spend a whole, whole lot, with Trump’s “big, beautiful bill” serving as only the most recent catalyst to expose such a deep divide among the nation’s leaders.
In a passionate speech, Senator Chuck Schumer praised his ideologically opposed colleagues for wanting to spend money but said they don’t go far enough. “We can all agree this bill needs to amend its spending,” Senator Chuck Schumer said. “We must add more. A whole, whole lot more.”
“Not a whole, whole lot! Just a whole lot!” shouted one unidentified Republican senator.
Following another round of amendments, the “big, beautiful, just absolutely tremendous bill” was set to be sent back to the House, where lawmakers were encouraged to add even more spending.
At publishing time, a bipartisan coalition reported that Trump’s “big, beautiful, just absolutely tremendous, believe me, everyone says so bill” would add just three trillion dollars to the national debt.
Brynnleigh is on a mission to stop America from becoming… well, America.
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