ST. PAUL, MN — Local 33-year-old Peter Winstead was stupendously flabbergasted earlier today to find that over 90% of his advanced vocabulary had been acquired from reading Calvin and Hobbes.
According to Winstead, the vast majority of words he knows — like ‘gambit,’ ‘acme,’ and ‘flippant’ — were gleaned directly from the pages of the Calvin and Hobbes books he read as a child.
“I wouldn’t know half as much without Calvin and Hobbes,” Winstead thought to himself as he noticed the word ‘vindicate.’ “I think that I learned ‘altruism’ from Calvin and Hobbes, too. Man, that was such a great comic strip. I should pull out those books again to learn some new words.”
Sources said that most of Winstead’s knowledge of archaeological history, theoretical transmogrification, and various sports also came from Calvin and Hobbes.
“He brought up the neocubist school of art the other day, just out of the blue,” said Peter’s wife, Leah. “I asked him where he got that, and he sat there for a minute before realizing he read about it in a Calvin and Hobbes strip when he was a kid.”
At publishing time, Winstead had also traced most of his knowledge of Yukon geography, prehistoric history, surrealism, and overall philosophy on life also back to Calvin and Hobbes.
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