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Hamas Announces They Will Accept Ceasefire On Condition They Can Keep Killing Jews

WORLD — Hamas leadership announced Monday that they would accept a ceasefire agreement with Israel on the condition that they can keep killing Jews.

Fighting in Gaza may soon come to an end as Hamas leadership appears to be quite eager for a ceasefire, provided they may continue to murder as many Jews as they want.

“This is a non-negotiable,” said Hamas interim leader Omar Al-Masri. “We will agree to the terms of any ceasefire that enables us to continue murdering Jews. It is the only path to lasting peace.”

According to sources, the United Nations is hopeful that an agreement can be reached despite the fact that it requires the continued death of Jews. “It’s a small price to pay for peace,” said UN Security Advisor Muhammad Hamad. “I encourage Israel to take the deal.”

Negotiators have reportedly taken Hamas’ single condition for a ceasefire up the chain of command and are waiting for an answer from Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. Experts warn the prime minister may not be receptive to the arrangement, however, based on past comments in which he mentioned wanting to live.

At publishing time, Israel issued a counteroffer demanding that members of Hamas launch themselves into the sun.


These British police officers are keeping the streets safe from dangerous weapons.

Babylon Bee

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