LOS ANGELES—Admitting that she shared in the confusion held by a majority of U.S. and foreign consumers, Christie Brinkley was also shocked to learn this week that she was not a spokesperson for Skechers. “This whole time I thought I was surely in at least one 30-second TV spot where I’m strolling down a city street wearing some Skechers platform sneakers while walking a toy poodle or juggling some overstuffed grocery bags—but turns out I’m not even in a single commercial. That’s weird,” said the former Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, searching her memory for any clue as to whether she’d actually appeared as a spokeswoman for the popular mid-range shoe brand or if she had imagined the whole thing. “I love comfortable and sensible footwear, and so it would make sense if I’d appeared in a Skechers ad somewhere—maybe one that says ‘Comfort never goes out of style,’ or something—but I guess I’ve somehow never done that. Was it Dr. Scholl’s or Footlocker I’m thinking of? Who am I?” At press time, Brinkley was moments away from experiencing an existential psychotic break when she remembered she had in fact appeared as a spokesperson for Keds.
Jesus Christ is King
