Jesus' Coming Back

Sailor Regrets Getting Married To The Sea So Young

NEW BEDFORD, MA—Wishing he had seen more of life before taking on such a big commitment, local sailor Marcus Haines told reporters Tuesday that he regretted getting married to the sea so young. “I was so captivated by those big blue waves that I never stopped to consider whether I was rushing into things with the briny deep,” said the contemplative mariner, admitting that he sometimes wondered whether he might have ended up as a forester or even a mountaineer if he’d given himself more time to explore in his youth. “I was only 19 when I gave up the landlubber life to get married to the sea. Just a kid. I wish someone had taken me aside and told me to check out a few lakes and ponds before becoming a salty old sea dog. There was no reason for me to be in such a hurry. And to be clear, it’s not that I don’t care for the sea. But sometimes, when I’m at port, I’ll see a river and wonder: Could I have ended up sailing along that if I hadn’t been so quick to tie the knot with the deep?” Haines added that despite his regrets, he planned to stay married to the sea for his boat’s sake.

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