Amazon Teases Next James Bond Will Face Off Against Threat Of Collective Bargaining
LOS ANGELES—Teasing several juicy details on the heels of their recent $1 billion purchase of the franchise, Amazon officials announced Friday that the next James Bond film would feature the famed spy facing off against the threat of collective bargaining. “We here at Amazon are so thrilled to bring James Bond back to the big screen, where he will attempt to defeat the menace of a unionized workplace,” said head of Amazon Studios Jennifer Salke, adding that the film, titled No Time To Sign, would follow James Bond, Moneypenny, Q, and MI-6’s in-house legal counsel as they seek to stop their enemy, an evil Teamster turned supervillain named Dr. Weingarten. “With a new contract looming, 007 must do everything in his power to prevent workers across the globe from unionizing, bargaining, and possibly even striking against their generous employers. With the help of the Pinkertons, a retired private equity investor, and a femme fatale corporate lawyer, Bond will cross the picket line, take out Dr. Weingarten, and save the world once and for all from the AFL-CIO.” Salke added that while the next actor to play James Bond had not yet been selected, they would refuse to cast anyone affiliated with the Screen Actors Guild.
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