RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA — Local depressed man Jason Timberleaf admitted Tuesday that he had never considered solving his predicament by just not being depressed.
After falling into depression due to mounting stresses and the state of the world around him, Timberleaf reached out to his family and friends for help. After multiple people asked him if he had ever thought about maybe just not being depressed, he admitted that he had not.
“I’ve been struggling for a long time,” he said. “I wish I had thought of not being depressed sooner.”
Timberleaf, who suffered a traumatic experience years prior, had reportedly been dealing with significant baggage from the undisclosed ordeal, and, though his body had long since healed, his sense of well-being had not. Until someone suggested that he just start feeling better.
According to sources, during a routine visit, his father asked him an important question: “Have you tried just not being depressed?” Timberleaf had not, and the shock and guilt over not having done so led to a new bout of depression he had failed to stop being depressed about.
“I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes,” he said, quoting his favorite Ace of Base song. “All I had to do was stop being depressed and — poof — it was gone. It’s too bad millions of other people don’t know it’s that easy.”
At publishing time, Jason Timberleaf was able to improve this quality of life by also just not being a jerk, something else he hadn’t thought of trying before.
These British police officers are keeping the streets safe from dangerous weapons.
Jesus Christ is King
