disaster accident

Following the release of the Tesla cyber truck’s official specs and crash test data, some safety experts have weighed in calling the new vehicle a “death machine,” citing its poor sight lines, substandard crash test results, 3.5-ton weight,…

MOSCOW—Saying the passing of his best buddies never got easier, Russian President Vladimir Putin was reportedly distraught Friday over the loss of friends who kept dying under mysterious circumstances. “It just breaks my heart to go to all…

WASHINGTON—Urging all 8 billion humans on the planet to brace themselves and hold on for dear life, panicking climate scientists warned reporters Wednesday that Earth was about to go off a huge waterfall. “Okay, we don’t mean to freak…

HOUSTON, TX—Taking accountability for a massive spill in the Gulf of Mexico, BP released a statement Wednesday apologizing for thinking that oil would look as cool spilled into the ocean as it does in puddles. “We thought the light would…

WASHINGTON—Shedding light on an experience common among commuters nationwide, a U.S. Department of Transportation study released Wednesday found that most honking drivers were just excited to see shiny cars. “Contrary to popular…

Many of America’s lesser newsrooms have recently grappled with setting guidelines for reporters’ use of social media, wary of staffers expressing their personal beliefs and compromising their credibility in the eyes of the public. America’s…

A recent study found that a shocking 41% of fast-food restaurant soda fountains were contaminated with some of the deadliest “superbug” germs known to science, including antibiotic-resistant Pseudomonas aeruginosa and Campylobacter jejuni.…

QUINCY, MA—Issuing its annual safety recommendations for preventing fire-related injury, the National Fire Protection Association released an updated report Thursday confirming that sitting down in a barrel of water remains the best way to…

The rise of massive annual wildfires and hurricanes around the U.S. has shone a spotlight on whether certain areas of the country will be habitable in the future, a reality that would reshape America in many ways. The Onion looks at the…

U.S. military officials found the crash site of an F-35 jet that went missing after a “mishap” caused its pilot to eject from the stealth aircraft, prompting the base to post on social media and ask anyone with information to call in. What…