Internet

PROVO, UT — Shocking revelations emerged this week after it was revealed that a woman who regularly refers to herself as an online influencer has actually never influenced anyone to do anything ever.Lauren Larsen, an active presence on…

After Don Lemon was fired from CNN and paid $24 million to never show his face again, Elon Musk graciously offered for Lemon to bring his face, along with a new show, to X. However, Lemon's new show on X was canceled after a mere one…

INDIANAPOLIS, IN — A local mom was shocked to look up from her phone after a few minutes of harmless scrolling on TikTok to discover all her kids had grown up and the year was 2072. Sources confirmed she had been scrolling aimlessly since…

U.S. — The ASMR (autonomous sensory meridian response) trend, once dominated by genZ kids and godless communists, has reportedly spread over to the conservative demographic with an exciting new video that is just someone firing an AR-15 and…

A few months ago, Mark Hemingway argued in these pages that Taylor Swift is a sign of societal decline (haters gonna hate). But a much bigger sign of decline threatens us as we enter 2024: the Stanley cup. No, not the hockey trophy. I’m…

ROANOKE, VA — Local man Kamal Ram found himself this morning pining for the good old days when a guy could log onto the internet without seeing gay Capitol sex tapes."Ah, those were the days," said Ram wistfully. "We lived in simpler times,…

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — The content safety team for the social media site X (formerly Twitter) has announced major progress in fighting child grooming on the platform. According to their statistics, child grooming content on Elon Musk's social…

The Federal Communications Commission is poised to assert itself as the Ministry of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. This week, the unelected bureaucrats at the agency will vote on rules to shoehorn the latest woke ideology about race and…

Leftist commentator Hasan Piker — one of the most influential political personalities on the internet — tried to justify Hamas’ recent murder of Israeli babies as “a matter of law” and “maybe” even “a matter of morality.” While on the…

While fact-checking a Federalist article early Monday morning, I did a quick Google search for “hunter biden joe biden ‘an absolute wall.’” It’s the language now-President Joe Biden used during the 2020 campaign to allege a separation…