iPad

I recently was back in the basement of my parents’ home, digging through old yearbooks and photo albums. My brother nagged me to find the old stereo with the turntable and vinyl records. In an age of modernity, it seems we can’t help but…

NEW YORK—Resting the device on his thighs behind the defendant’s table, former President Donald Trump reportedly watched a movie on an iPad during his trial Thursday, not bothering to use headphones. As witness Keith Davidson continued his…

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WASHINGTON—Concluding that it had found no clear reason to doubt the veracity of such emails, texts, and direct messages, the Federal Communications Commission announced Tuesday that all messages it had seen offering free iPads seemed…

WASHINGTON—After top advisors patted his head and called him a good president, Joe Biden was rewarded with extra time on his tablet Thursday, according to sources within the West Wing. “Since you were so patient and quiet all the way…

GALLATIN, TN—Touting its access to Cocomelon, Noggin, Disney+, and other popular video services, local daycare Little Angels Learning Center boasted Monday that it maintained a great screen-to-toddler ratio across all its programs. “We’re…

COLUMBUS, OH—Stressing that she felt almost entirely numb as she entered her fourth hour of viewership, local kindergartner Amelia Sanders told reporters Wednesday that she needed increasingly intense YouTube videos of a Latvian woman…

Start SlideshowFollowing a sexual abuse victim’s lawsuit, the video chat platform Omegle, known for the tagline “Talk to strangers,” has ceased operation after 14 years of randomly pairing users for conversation. The Onion asked Omegle…

In a recently surfaced video from 2022, House Speaker Mike Johnson reveals that he and his son use anti-porn software to monitor and eliminate each other’s temptations to view erotica and sexually explicit material. The Onion asked porn…

Start SlideshowAfter years of hard work waiting for his mother to die, King Charles III is finally to be crowned the King of England. The Onion asked Brits how they are celebrating, and this is what they said.AdvertisementPrevious SlideNext…