Though they belong to the most popular religion in the world, Christians remain mercilessly persecuted by a depraved subset of maniacs who do not believe in God. The Onion asked… Read More...
LOS ANGELES—In an exclusive interview with podcast host Jay Shetty, former first lady Michelle Obama stated Monday that she was “terrified” what could happen in 2024 if Pennywise… Read More...
Start SlideshowA recent study found that the average age for new American parents is up to 26 for mothers and 31 for fathers, both record highs. The Onion looks at the top reasons… Read More...
“The movie was fine, but it didn’t feature nearly enough discussion of the immense suffering caused by people who throw horseshoes at bars and hit someone in the head, giving them… Read More...
SAN FRANCISCO—Emphasizing that it was only offering an opinion and any choice made would be acceptable, a little voice reportedly whispered, “…or you could just get takeout,”… Read More...
BOSTON—Noting that they definitely had some sort of mission statement when they started in 2015, leaders of a local nonprofit told reporters Tuesday that they no longer recall who… Read More...
Apple CEO Tim Cook will take a more than 40% pay cut this year after criticism from shareholders, a decision that will reduce his annual pay package from last year’s $99.4 million… Read More...
ARLINGTON, VA—Struggling with what she called an “impossible decision,” local 32-year-old Olivia Montero told reporters Tuesday she didn’t want kids, but still wanted to name… Read More...