labor

According to an Associated Press survey, the average compensation package for CEOs who run S&P 500 companies rose by 13% last year, growing to nearly 200 times the salaries of their employees and well outpacing inflation. What do you…

NEW YORK—Responding to widespread pro-Palestinian demonstrations taking place at colleges across the country, CEO Ron Burgess issued a warning Tuesday that no student involved in the protests would ever be hired at Genocide Inc. “Given the…

AUSTIN, TX—In the latest round of layoffs for the company’s struggling automotive division, electric vehicle manufacturer Tesla fired the entire team behind brakes, sources confirmed Wednesday. “As we continue to rightsize the Tesla…

The Federal Trade Commission has barred employers from including noncompete clauses, which prevent individuals for leaving the company to work for a competitor for certain lengths of time, in their employees’ contracts, in an effort to…

Tesla CEO Elon Musk announced the layoffs of 10% of the company’s workforce, stating that the cuts would allow the foundering corporation to “be lean, innovative and hungry for the next growth phase cycle.” What do you think?“Well, I’m sure…

NEW YORK—Scolding the journalist for failing to follow the guidelines clearly outlined in its employee handbook, The Wall Street Journal reportedly sent Evan Gershkovich his final warning Friday about the company’s return-to-office mandate.…

President Joe Biden urged Congress to pass a bipartisan bill that would give him executive power to shut down the border between the United States and Mexico. The Onion examines the pros and cons of closing our nation’s southern border and…

Start Slideshow“Quiet quitting” is the new buzzword sweeping workplaces across the country, although the issues it really reflects can be confusing. The Onion answers common questions about the “quiet quitting”…

An increasing number of people advocate being open about salaries as a way to fix pay iniquities and encourage employees to ask for more compensation, but there are many cultural and professional taboos around the practice. The Onion looks…

WASHINGTON—Insisting more people should get to wear an old oilskin hat and smoke a pipe at work, the American populace on Tuesday demanded more jobs in which a person gets to steer a ship with a big wooden wheel. “To rebuild our nation’s…