the onion

WASHINGTON—Issuing a blanket recommendation for meat, poultry, seafood, and eggs, the Food and Drug Administration confirmed Tuesday that the best way to ensure food has been heated to a safe temperature is to stick a finger down into the…

Though they belong to the most popular religion in the world, Christians remain mercilessly persecuted by a depraved subset of maniacs who do not believe in God. The Onion asked Christians why atheists are bullies, and this is what they…

Start SlideshowAdvertisementPrevious SlideNext SlideThe Onion: “Thank you for meeting with us today.”The Onion: “Thank you for meeting with us today.”Henry Kissinger: “Of course! Can I offer you anything to drink? Sparkling water out of a…

Start SlideshowWhether it’s a child’s drawing or an expensive piece, artwork can really make a difference in how a home looks and feels. The Onion offers tips for displaying works of art in your home.AdvertisementPrevious SlideNext Slide2/…

This week, Elon Musk introduced a beta version of an artificially intelligent chatbot named “Grok” for some verified users of X, formerly known as Twitter. The Onion sat down for a conversation with the new AI, which was reportedly designed…

The past week has shown humanity at its worst: A horrific terrorist attack left at least 1,300 Israelis dead, among them peace activists and even innocent children. The fates of many more kidnapped civilians still lie in the balance.…

Start SlideshowA recent study found that the average age for new American parents is up to 26 for mothers and 31 for fathers, both record highs. The Onion looks at the top reasons why more Americans are putting off having…

LAHAINA, HI—Beaming as he thrust a shovel into the ground of the charred and tangled wreckage, President Joe Biden visited Maui Monday to promote the island’s new multibillion-dollar devastation. “Today, I am honored as your president to…

Start SlideshowFollowing Donald Trump’s indictment on federal charges for attempting to overturn the 2020 election, Mike Pence has made headlines as a potential witness for the prosecution. The Onion sits down with the former vice president…

Start SlideshowPresident Joe Biden’s plan to forgive up to $20,000 of some Americans’ student loans has inspired widespread political debate. The Onion fact-checks claims about Biden’s plan and student loan debt in…