time person of the year

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WASHINGTON—Stating that it was as easy to prepare 330 million helpings as one, President Joe Biden announced Thursday that he was reheating chili if anyone was interested. “I’m going to pop some chili into the microwave in a minute or so if…

HAMPTON BEACH, NH—Greeting the video with a mixture of mild consternation and resigned acceptance, Republican voters across the nation reportedly shrugged Monday and said there was really nothing you could do after footage of Donald Trump…

In a world where the right endorsement can make or break a presidential candidate, there is one opinion that matters most of all: that of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. The Onion asked Americans who they believed Jesus would vote for,…

According to a poll from the Angus Reid Institute, two thirds of Canadians surveyed said they don’t think democracy will withstand another presidential term with Donald Trump in the White House, with 49% of respondents also saying that the…

Though they belong to the most popular religion in the world, Christians remain mercilessly persecuted by a depraved subset of maniacs who do not believe in God. The Onion asked Christians why atheists are bullies, and this is what they…

“He needs to start putting what he tries on back onto the hangers. He brings an armful of, like, 30 crop tops over to try on, and it’s, like, first of all, we have a 15-item limit and you know that, but then he leaves them strewn all over…

Start SlideshowDecisions made in Maine and Colorado to strike Donald Trump from their respective state-level ballots using the Fourteenth Amendment’s insurrection clause have raised the question: Should the former president be disqualified…

WASHINGTON—Looking after the White House for a couple days while the president was out of town, Vice President Kamala Harris reportedly made a few extra bucks this week house-sitting for the Bidens. “As far as side gigs go, house-sitting is…

WASHINGTON—Using his platform to plead for Americans to lend him a hand, President Joe Biden addressed the nation Monday while hanging from a branch on the side of a cliff. “Our democracy has never before hung in the balance more than it…