JACKSONVILLE, FL—Tim Tebow has announced that he is retiring from professional baseball to pursue other, higher interests. Now he hopes to fulfill his lifelong dream of becoming a Chick-fil-A employee.
“While I enjoyed playing in the MLB for the Mets, and in the NFL for the Broncos and Jets, those just weren’t my calling,” said Tim Tebow. “Right now I’m feeling led in the direction of serving as a Chick-fil-A employee.”
Tim Tebow hopes that his extensive resume of community service, feeding the hungry, and serving in the church will boost his chances of getting hired. Despite his worries, Tebow effortlessly landed the job after he walked in wearing his John 3:16 eye black.
“My whole life has led me to this moment,” said Tebow, kneeling for a quick prayer before putting on the Chick-fil-A uniform. “I always want to be 100% in on whatever I choose. And now, every day, I get to serve people the Lord’s chicken.”
In his first month on the job, Tebow received the Employee of the Month award for quickly delivering food by sliding up to every table and throwing perfect spirals with extra packets of Chick-fil-A sauce. When asked why Tim Tebow goes the extra mile every day, he simply replied, “It’s my pleasure!”
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