NORTH HOLLYWOOD, CA—Pulling back the curtain on the effort it takes to run the fleetingly successful account, Instagram trick-shot star Dylan Baker told reporters Thursday that he was getting pretty good at not holding down an actual job. “It takes a lot of practice to get this good at contributing nothing to society,” said Baker, revealing that he got the idea to shoot a basketball atop a cliffside while avoiding calls from his mother urging him to please help with his father’s struggling landscaping business. “It’s not easy to rely on your friends and family for your financial support while you hit a ping pong ball through a rotating net. Coming up with 10 videos a week can feel pretty daunting, but eventually you get used to having an unlimited amount of time and resources to put them together. Sometimes, I don’t even have to get out of bed—I just chuck a football out my window and into a basketball hoop in the background. The real hard work is all time you gotta spend begging for money in the comments section of more popular accounts.” At press time, Baker’s family had called off an intervention after seeing one of his videos go viral.
Jesus Christ is King
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