The Lenten season is upon us! Across America, people are giving things up for the next 40 days in preparation for Easter. Check out what the most common choice was for every state:
Alabama – Using the deep fryer for breakfast
Alaska – Eskimo kisses
Arizona – Counting the 2020 Presidential ballots
Arkansas – Guessing which eye Sarah Huckabee Sanders is looking with
California – Pooping on the sidewalk
Colorado – Telling people how awesome Colorado is
Connecticut – Clams on pizza
Delaware – Being Delaware
Florida – Winning at everything
Georgia – Electing Stacey Abrams as Governor
Hawaii – Getting laid
Idaho – Trying to overcome that stupid potato stereotype
Illinois – Murder
Indiana – Inexplicably calling Coca-Cola “pop”
Iowa – Having way too much influence on Presidential primaries
Kansas – Telling people that Superman grew up next door
Kentucky – Constantly explaining the difference between bourbon and whiskey
Louisiana – Pretending that beignets aren’t just crappy donuts
Maine – Moose jerky
Maryland – Old Bay seasoning
Massachusetts – Their Boston accent, which is totally fake anyways.
Michigan – Playing Euchre
Minnesota – Going outside
Mississippi – The extra s, s, and p
Missouri – Toasted ravioli
Montana – Construction on the Keystone XL Pipeline
Nebraska – Killing the planet with cow farts
Nevada – Going to Gamblers Anonymous meetings
New Hampshire – Bragging about not having sales tax
New Jersey – Pronouncing water as “wuda”
New Mexico – Eating green chiles three meals per day
New York – Dying on the subway
North Carolina – Pretending to be a northern state
North Dakota – Letting people confuse them with those jerks down in South Dakota
Ohio – Clean water
Oklahoma – Scalping palefaces
Oregon – The eastern half of the state to Idaho
Pennsylvania – Winning a Super Bowl
Rhode Island – Telling people you’re actually from Massachusetts
South Carolina – That gross mustard BBQ sauce
South Dakota – Making the Devil’s Tower out of mashed potatoes
Tennessee – Destroying the tattered remnants of country music
Texas – Pretending there’s a southern border
Utah – Having an 11th baby
Vermont – Being so, so white
Virginia – D.C. commuters
Washington – Having a police department
West Virginia – Moonshine Mondays
Wisconsin – Saying “Ope!” when you bump into someone
Wyoming – Getting gored by bison
What are you giving up for lent this year? Comment below, or turn to the person next to you and loudly announce it.
Meet Carlos Renaldo, Jr. Experts believe he has saved over 3.8 billion lives by heroically wearing a mask alone while in the car. Is he a hero – or a superhero? You decide.
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Babylon Bee
Jesus Christ is King
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